They can be lengthy: Make sure you consider how long your name will be when joined together via a hyphen. View original. Error: API requests are being delayed for this account. Many courts are encouraging hyphenated last name to increase settlement in cases. Required fields are marked *. Keeps your professional identity. I smiled when I read you did that too. Women today can opt for hyphenating last name after marriage and other easy-to-implement name change processes. In this lull between Christmas and the New Year, Robert and I finally had time to go down to city hall to register our Gibraltar marriage. Her father and I separated while I was pregnant, but tried to make it work for awhile for her sake. (I kept my name … The choice of having hyphenated names gives them a fair chance to keep their maiden names as well as to please their husbands and in-laws. My brother and I took our dad's last name. The only other option I would consider is "FirstName MiddleName LastName HisLastName". 1; … I originally wanted two last names but the State of CA does not allow that unless they are hyphenated. But it becomes confusing. I didn't hyphenate though - I bumped my maiden name to my 2nd middle name (I also attached to my given middle name, so dropping that altogether wasn't an option.) Argh - this post has actually made me considerably more confused! Cons: Whichever partner's last name is not used will have that name fall even further out of the public sphere. But I'm ending it be, No tree? By Kristi Gustafson Barlette on April 2, 2010 at 11:45 AM. It was really easy with the DMV, SS, Banks, etc. Just because the want/need is not expressed, doesn't mean it wouldn't be appreciated. I moved my maiden name to my middle name. Really four, including my original middle name. Pros: You don’t have to go through the name change process and it won’t affect you professionally. Post was not sent - check your email addresses! I have 2 brothers who will carry on the name, but the name has been mine for so long and I just couldn't part with it. I haven't run into any problems with this yet, other than convincing people that I have two separate last names, not one hyphenated name. I was too immature to keep my own name but thought I was too independent to take his. To help you determine if it’s truly the right choice for you, here’s a list of pros and cons of hyphenating your name after marriage. If you both know that you are keeping your own last names, there is no reason to stress over what you should do. )The only "trouble" most people come across who don't flat out take H's last name is with potential children, if you are planning on having them. So my name is smashed together on the ticket. FWIW, I'd just stick with your own last name as is, but I guess you didn't really ask about that option :-). I knew another girl who has a hyphenated last name and each part was 2 syllables. Hyphens will confuse people and just aren't worth the trouble. A new last name can represent a new beginning for a family which can be powerful. I’ve just discovered your blog and read, in quick succession, all about your love story and wedding. Cons: It may be difficult to easily prove that you are married if you want to travel together, if you eventually have children, or if one of you is admitted to the hospital.Chang… My last name IS a strong part of my identity. I actually almost got dropped from all my classes in college one semester because my tuition funds weren't applied correctly because of discrepancies with her last name. Then there was the hassle of having to explain, spell, and respell the names over and over, and trying to arrange doctors appointments with offices that each had their own way of dealing with hyphenated files. I WANT to take his last name. Advantages: Modern. She thinks it's nice, too! My FI and I were just discussing this last night. Sacre Coeur? I would never assume a person had 2 last names. All through elementary school, my teachers thought my parents were divorced though, because of the different last names.Personally, I'm not down with hyphenating. Cons: Hyphenated last names can also lead to administrative hassles. I knew a guy who had a hyphenated last name and each part was 3-4 syllables. 2020 has been... interesting. If you are going through a paternity case in Missouri, Illinois, Kansas, or … If you want to go by both names, I personally think hyphenating is much LESS confusing that having two last names with no hyphen. Pros & Cons? I didn't want to get rid of my maiden name well, because it was [i]my name[/i], and had been for my entire life - it felt so wrong to change it. Occasional confusion: Some people ignore hyphens and have no … What are the pros and cons of hyphenated names? So now, I am FirstName MiddleName MaidenName DH'sLastName. Is her last name Smith Doe? Your friends, clients, and colleagues … Best wishes to you and your man… it’s such a beautiful experience to meet the one you’re meant to be with! Looking back, it seems like I had one foot in and one foot out from day one. If you become a parent and one partner has a hyphenated … We constantly get weird mail, trouble at airports and other businesses, and it was difficult for us to figure out what last name I was going to take when we got married. I'm going to keep using my given last name socially and professionally, but I don't care if people call me Mrs. Hislast. I actually don't really like my middle name. (As a writer, I run into this frequently; the people I interview are also grateful that I actively ask them which they prefer, but it's clear they have problems all the time.) Hyphenated names: the pros … All the ladies I know who did it are very high-maintenance. My Fi and I have kind of the opposite problem. Thank you so much, Kat! Marriage brings in a lot of major changes in life and it … Tags: hyphenated names hyphenated marriage. Some people want the family to all have the same last name. Log in as an administrator and view the Instagram Feed settings page for more details. He was born in Paraguay (his mom is from the States) so he is Brian Middle Name Dad's Last Name-Mom's Last Name. I have two last names. If you’re an unmarried parent, we have an article that may help: Children of Unmarried Parents. At the doctors I have to listen for either my maiden, hislast name or both.Overall it's just been annoying correcting people. An Australian former couple, who has been warring over their son’s last name for the past two years, has taken the question of surnaming to a whole new level. This ill conceived hypenated name was a constant nine year long hassle during which I encountered dozens of databases that either didn’t support special characters like hyphens, or that didn’t allow enough characters to accommodate both names, forcing me to choose one or live with an oddly truncated version of my joined names. I go by First Maiden Married. Or keep both middle and maiden and add last? I haven't done it but the link below has some cons to doing this: I personally don't like hyphenating. Hyphenated names: the pros Most women choose to change their last names after marriage because they are compromising for the sake of their husbands and new families. I did not hyphenate but still have 2 names. not I think when the day comes, I’ll end up taking his name too for just the reason you stated so well, “I choose to be a full member of his tribe.” Cheers to you and your new family! I guess I just have to think about it!Thanks again! Motherhood had introduced all kinds of other unexpected things into my life (extended breastfeeding and doing elaborate song-and-dance routines to get my kids to eat vegetables), so I felt more comfortable doing something a bit … If you decide to go with a merged last name or create a new one, it’s very important to thoroughly consider all the pros and cons of your last name change. Any other viewpoints/opinions are greatly appreciated!Thank you!! That’s one of the best compliments anyone could give me :), Your email address will not be published. Hyphenating makes it clear that my last name is Smith-Jones, not Smith and not Jones so I haven't had any issues with anyone confusing which name is actually my last name. It allows you to retain your identity while still legally adopting your partner's moniker. With my first marriage at 25, I’d hyphenated my last name without considering the hyphenated last name pros and cons that came to plague me in my day to day life. Oddly, the only person who really had a problem with it was my mother's mother, who refuses to this day to refer to my mom by anything but my dad's last name. It was such a pain in the butt that I decided to hyphenate my last name with DH's, and it's a decision I'm very happy with. This gave me nearly three months to decide what to do about my name. When you have two last names, it's forever confusing if the first last name is part of the real last name or just a middle name.I 100% agree with this. It just seems to complicate things. I … There's no one solution for any of this. My new initials will be BMW. When you have two last names, it's forever confusing if the first last name is part of the real last name or just a middle name. I would never assume a person had 2 last names. But overall I'm happy with the decision. Hyphenating my name was a namby pamby way to go. hyphenated last name pros and cons. New posts will not be retrieved. it gets exhausting after a while. I'm becoming Brooke Maiden Hislast and dropping my current middle name to keep it simple. haha. When a person’s name is hyphenated, the machine simply cannot cope. On our joint account, I am FirstName MaidenName DH'sLastName, but on my own bank account I am all 4. I can't decide between hyphenating, Denise Mylast-Hislast or making my maiden name my middle name. Like ggmae, I have four names (2 middle names). Or is Smith a middle name and Doe is the last name? It's unusual and I really, really like it. After nearly a decade, I still couldn’t decide who I was! Here are some pros of hyphenating last names: The biggest perk is that you get to keep your own identity, which you are finding difficult to abandon completely. I'm fine going by DH's last name socially - we received monogrammed towels that we got for the wedding that I love that have his last name's initial, and I have no problem signing our Christmas cards as "The Jones family" or responding to wedding invitations as "Mr. and Mrs. Jones". With my divorce, I chose a new last name. You still keep your name. I’ve said before that this time I chose to be married because I know I’m fine on my own. So, from now on, I’ll go by Mrs. his nice WASPy sounding name, which can be traced back more than 1,000 years, has a coat of arms, and a lineage that shares a common ancestor with Kings Henry IV, V, and VI. Yikes. But legally and professionally, my name is First Middle Maiden-Married. Keeping your own last name might just be a simpler practical solution, even just for the ease of knowing that your name can stay yours and you won’t have to navigate the weird in-between period where half of your business cards have one name and … Hyphenating last name after marriage: How to decide what’s right for you. After reading an online article about the pros and cons of keeping a maiden or married name, my husband now tells me to use either one, but he does not agree with hyphenating. Hyphenated names: the pros. Hyphenation helps you stay connected to your children whose names might not be hyphenated and who have been given your husband’s surname. And I didn't want to lose my middle name because it's a family name that means a lot to me. There was no way I was totally getting rid of my last name, but I'd heard from other women who were hyphenated that it was a PITA. 1. I loved the flow of my name, and would’ve liked to have kept it, in fact, I thought about dumping Autumn and making it my middle name, but who gives up a middle name like Autumn? Pros and Cons of hyphenating a last name. I do not currently have a middle name. Pros. When they had kids they had her last name as their middle name and then their fathers last name. this was hard in my field of work as i have to sign alot of paperwork day in and day out. brnd - If I had just taken DH's last name and kept my middle name on its own, I would have been GMC. Click to share on Facebook (Opens in new window), Click to share on Pinterest (Opens in new window), Click to share on Twitter (Opens in new window), Click to share on Tumblr (Opens in new window), Click to share on Reddit (Opens in new window), Click to email this to a friend (Opens in new window). With a hyphenated last name, you maintain your identity while also accepting your added identity as your spouse’s wife. I mostly go by Alicia de HisLastName down here. Below are three drawbacks of taking both last names as a newlywed. I did the same thing that gg and money did; First Middle Maidden MarriedLastName. I was too immature to keep my own name but thought I was too independent to take his. You can choose a name you want, short of something obscene or one that would violate … Good morning! And, if you're having kids, would their names be hyphenated also? Without going into the details of who has treated eachother in which way I just want some honest insight into the pros and cons of hyphenating a childs name in the context of it happening after a divorce. Thanks to all for replying. I'm more attached to my maiden name than my middle name. Hyphenated names: the pros Most women choose to change their last names after marriage … When I go to the self service machine I can't use me passport or credit card to pull up my information because the last name is 2 names and it does not match up to anything.Some places will pick one of the 2 names instead of both. People get confused, and sometimes use her whole hyphenated last name, and others sometimes just use her last name. The downside of this is that it literally states that I belong to him, but that's just language semantics, Oh, and our children will be named: Name MiddleName HisLastName MyLast Name, Expat, do you guys plan to live in Mexico always? But if you're Jane Smith-Doe, there should be no question that the last name is Smith-Doe. Because of my job I could not just change my middle name without a court order. Sorry, your blog cannot share posts by email. The only issue I've had is with my HR department, they just don't get it. Again, my only concern with hyphenating is whether or not the names … Get Our Wedding Planner App On Your Mobile Device. So his name would then be Trey Evan Walker-Hess. 1. Yours is way cooler. I'm very anti-hyphenating, though. It didn't matter to me to take my husbands last name. I'd be more likely to think they had 2 middle names (like my FI - his second middle name is his mother's maiden name). GL! The only thing I have changed thus far is my license, on which I hyphenated. Sometimes you just need to create your own path, you know? Indicates both spouses’ names and thus both family origins. Posted 11/27/2010. What did you do? When you have two last names, it's forever confusing if the first last name is part of the real last name or just a middle name.I 100% agree with this. (When I told one of my BMs that I was getting married, her first question was, "What are you doing with your last name?!" Pros and cons of changing your name when married. Does that sound alright to you? If you have one that you find embarrassing or that brings the wrong kind of attention, changing it may relieve you of a lot of embarrassment or hassle. It keeps you connected with your achievements both in the academic and professional grounds. What differentiates an average host and a great host is anticipating unexpressed needs and wants of their guests. So, if I change my mind (before going to the SS office) can I change my license again? I did the same thing as you: chose a new last name after my divorce that was significant only to me. This option is growing ever-popular, and it might be the least complicated. Or leave it as is. I really regret my choice. I knew a couple where the wife kept her last name. And since my maiden name and married name are all first names, it looks like I have three first names. Whether you’re signing a check or introducing yourself at a cocktail party, choosing a hyphenated last name legally binds you to … On my license, I put my maiden name initial, but all 4 names are on my SS card. My restless Aries spirit liked that idea, so I did what any girl in my position would do… I grabbed my cat, booked a one-way ticket to Denmark, and became an expat! For example, there's Jane Smith Doe. Have you run into any trouble? I did not want to get rid of my maiden name yet I wanted to take DH's name. Hyphenating last name after marriage: the pros and cons The legal formalities regarding the change of name after marriage have certainly changed over the years. It will look terrible hyphenated, so I came to the conclusion many year ago that I'll just have to keep it. So my maiden name will become my middle name. Why did you decide to hyphenate, rather than just take your Hs last name? Cons. My last name is a strong part of who I am, and although I have two brothers to carry on the namesake, it still doesn't change the fact that I would like to keep it. Hyphenated Last Name Pros and Cons. We have since agreed to get a divorce while she is young (she's 14 months, and has only ever known living in two different households). He honestly didn't care either way, but I wanted to legally have his last name. You’re Legally Bound To Use Both. I’m a long-time reader and I am enjoying the new blog design. it worked out because the problem with hyphenating is that since it is your legal last name, you HAVE to sign it hyphenated. Filed Under: a doomed love story, wedding, Dear Sage, I was able to take his name without sacrificing my own: I am Alicia MiddleName MyLastName de HisLastName. Unfortunately, it's also 9 letters with a capital letter in the middle. My decision affects only my name - DH didn't hyphenate his name, and when we have children eventually they will have his last name. I still didn’t want to give them just one of our last names, but the unconventional idea of making up a new name suddenly didn’t seem so weird. However, there are some drawbacks to hyphenating. Contact a Paternity Lawyer in St. Louis, Kansas City, Columbia, Springfield, Wichita, Tulsa and Beyond Today . 50 k, This error message is only visible to WordPress admins. Unfortunately, she just kind of goes with the flow and doesn't keep it consistent. Pros of hyphenating. Advantages of not changing your name after marriage. There are plenty of advantages of a legal name change. I thought I my solution was the best option for me to get what I wanted without the court order.If I had to do it again, I would have picked one name. My husband and I are trying to decide whether or not to hyphenate or son's last name. You are a fantastic writer and it really is addictive reading! Its going to make life a lot easier. It asked me my intended name after the wedding (state of Hawaii? (Need opinions.) Just do what you like. But I did want to share a name with DH, and I wanted something to signify that we were married and that we were a family, which is why I didn't just keep my maiden name. But we've only been married for 2 months, and I haven't changed my name with a lot of places yet, so there may be issues down the road. One of the best parts is that the sky is the limit. I think it's a hassle. I've known people who have hyphenated their kids' names, given them H's last name (which I'll probably do), alternated the kids' last names between mom and dad, and created a new last name all together. February 8th 2017 . No problem.#peacockchair #cornersofmy, A dreamy Christmas stroll with my guy ⛄#Chr, My Love brought me 4 dozen of my favorite roses, s, A sign of the times #christmas #covidchristma, New-to-me thrifted oil painting! The legal formalities regarding the change of name after marriage have certainly changed over the years. This ill conceived hypenated name was a constant nine year long hassle during which I encountered dozens of … 1. I hyphenated and don't regret my decision at all. Keep your surname. The cons of a newly created last name include the fact that lineage is not represented in this name. Well, this time I’m taking his name because I am fine on my own, and because I choose to be a full member of his tribe. Originally Answered: What are the disadvantages and advantages of having a hyphenated last name? I'd be more likely to think they had 2 middle names (like my FI - his second middle name is his mother's maiden name). Research your state’s marriage laws to see what types of surname changes are acceptable with a marriage certificate. Once upon a time, I had the chance to move to the happiest country in the world! Cons. Not really a big deal. It had no significance other than that it was easy to pronounce, easy to spell, and it sounded great with Sage Autumn. Hyphenating can be great if you use your current last name for professional reasons. Hyphenating last name after marriage: the pros and cons . When I sign things, I just sign it FirstName DH'sLastName and I asked to be referred to as Mrs. DH'sLastName. If you want to go by both names, I personally think hyphenating is much LESS confusing that having two last names with no hyphen. Should do blog and read, in quick succession, all about your love and... Easy to spell, and sometimes use her last name include the fact that the just! Children, etc 's name plus, people are always confused as to which last.... 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